Paper Pill: Benzo – Lonely

My first short story! Enjoy.

WARNING: Should only be taken as part of a healthy and balanced diet. Do not take with any form of alcohol, drugs, high buildings, foreplay or any anal/ oral sex. A wrong dosage can result in emotional breakdowns, stress and/ or depression. If in doubt consult a trusted friend or loved one.

She let her body be carried along by the weight of the train. The length of her heel was being felt by the ball of her foot and calf muscle. At this time of the morning, on this train line she knew that there was no chance that she would get a seat but was adamant on wearing the heels. It was one of those days. Usually she would not have dreamed of putting on the shoes until she reached university but today was different. She had woken up feeling agitated and uptight; the lavender smell of her bedsheets had disgusted her, the crisp taste of the cornflakes made her gag and the sound of her flatmates voice made her skin crawl. In an effort to get away from everything as quick as possible she had left her house without thinking.

Now standing pressed against the body of stranger on the Jubilee line she wished that she had not been swept away with her emotions and instead taken the time to pack her shoes and sensibly put on her trainers. Too late now. She bent her knees and as much as she could tried to tilt her body weight from one foot to the other. There was not much room so with each bend of the knees she found her shoulders jutting too far out of her personal space and bumped into the lady on her left and the short stubby man to her right. Her hands were getting sweaty holding on to the pole above and the effect of having layered up for the cold and then being on a a packed train for over 20 stops was taking its toll. Beeds of sweat gathered at her temples, the sweat was rising from the roots of her hair and she could feel hear weave growing itchy. This was the last thing she needed: to be sweaty and agitated. Victoria rolled her neck turned her head from left to right slowly to release the tension that her built around her shoulder blades and took a deep breath in and exhaled.

She wanted to distract herself from watching the train stops and counting how many she had to go until she reached Kilburn. It was too many and simply staring at the train map was not helping. A lady was turning the pages of her book quietly in the distance. Victoria crouched a little to see past the tall blonde man’s armpit and try and make out the front of the book. Victoria squinted and could see the book had love in the title and it appeared to be a cartoon of some sort. Some skinny lady on the front with spindly legs. Managing to force a smile Victoria thought about how a lot of books were about stick thin ladies falling in and out of love but how in real life all her spindly friends found it hard to hold a guy down. She didn’t have that problem.

The night before last she had spent it with Marlon. He was ok; all talk and very little action, but then again a lot of guys were like that. They had met as Victoria cued up for Sound in Leicester Square. At the time Victoria was slightly, well very tipsy (probably more drunk) and all she could make out was Marlon’s muscles. He was a little darker than what she would usually soberly go for but his body rippled against his t – shirt and as she pressed against him to whisper her number into his ear, he was hard. In her drunkenness that was enough.

They had whined the whole night, dancing close up against each other. Her mind had swirled and the music completely filled her mind, The hours passed, 11, 12, 1, 2, 3am and her hips swayed through the night, relentless. Her feet hadn’t hurt and she felt light, floaty, moving along with the music.

Hands, sweat, legs, muscle.

As the night drew to a close she remembered being helped into a car with her friend Sam and Marlon stayed close to her. She felt protected, like they had been together for years and this was his duty to make sure that she got home safely and when she got home he would put her to bed. In her bed. She rolled the car window down and let the cool night air blow through her tracks, in and under her weave. It was sobering. Turning to look at Marlon, for the first time the whole night she looked into his eyes and realised that she did not know him. They had spent the night together for fun and this was only something for the moment. Feeling self conscious she continued to stare at him wondering how he would feel when he found out that she snored, had broken hair under the weave and patchy skin when it was not covered in foundation.
Turning away Victoria shut the window and bent to lean into to Marlon and lie against him. His body was comforting.

The train was at London Bridge now and as the doors opened, a gush of cold air entered the train. Victoria was pushed against her cold bed and her legs roughly parted, the sharp air roughly entering her. She tightly gripped the bar and closed her eyes.


About Plantain Periodicals

Hello! Welcome to the Plantain Periodicals blogs. The name stems from the kitchen moments I had with my friends at university cooking plantain and planning our lives together. I have used this space as a window into my mind and the way I make sense of all my experiences through writing.This is where I share those conversations and moments that happen inside my head as a young woman growing up in 21st century London. Hopefully you'll be entertained and also learn a thing or two. My main blog ad: My literature blog: NMx
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2 Responses to Paper Pill: Benzo – Lonely

  1. Kate G says:

    I loved reading this! You’re quite the little writer πŸ™‚ really could imagine this (both scenes), and liked the way the two came together at the end. Well done you πŸ™‚ x

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