I have slowly been making my way through a collection of short essays written by Alice Walker called ‘Anything we love can be saved’ and there is a section where she talks about motherhood and the effect that having a daughter has had on her as a person. The essay struck a chord with me because it made me start thinking about the kind of mother I’ll be, and the way I may change as I get older and experience more of the world. Already I notice that I am increasingly doing more and more things like my mother; silly things like over filling my bag and constantly using hot water bottles and to be honest I don’t really mind. She is one of those warm and loving women who when you slip up and make a big boo boo of life, just her presence makes you break down in tears knowing that no matter what I am loved.
In the moments my mum and I share there are times that grind my gears and others where I thank God over and over again that I came from her and continue to pray that I can only try and meet her standard of mothering. I also can’t help thinking about my children to be: will they like me? Will we get along? Will they look like myself or my husband? Will I even like being a mum? The list is endless…
For now I am happy being a child.
“There’s no -one I would rather hear from, talk with, listen to” – Alice Walker, Anything we love can be saved.